The Church of the Psychedelic Tuba
Tuba Vibe Groups
Our minions of tuba wielding psychonauts specialize in various healing treatments. All groups get to the same vibrational level yet through different paths. Feel free to choose from the various groups. We will determine what is best for you since you don't know what is best for you. That is our job. The tuba you need is the tuba you get. Greg 14:42
Group A#
Group A# specializes in the cosmic minutiae that is the sub sub sub conscience mind as well as the pre conscience that manifests itself in the unique spiritual centers of your frontal and obtubinal lobes. Each of your lobe centers are then intoned with a precise frequency that fluctuates in volume, tone and tambor to elevate all the burdensome hardships of modern life that you must endure. Once you have obtained the maximum state of harmonic intonement and bliss you will be shown photographs of third-world poverty and disease. Come on if you can afford a tuba church priest to come and tune you and your home you are doing pretty well and should quit your belly aching. Your whole home will be lovingly intoned to its original and or best frequency. This keeps you and your loved ones in a Tuba-iffic mood for days to come.
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Group Bb
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Group Bb specializes in the deep deep bowels of the tuba healing properties. When you need something done quickly and completely you call the Bb Group. Normally reserved for serious fringe encounters and pan dimensional cross implementation Group Bb is now available for private service with proper disclaimers. Liven up a children's coming of age party or send the Donner party survivors haunting spirits to the four corners of hell. Our High Priests are equipped with the metaphysical wherewithal to get the vibes flowing at just the right frequency.